It's almost here...

And then I will post a flood of screenshots, evidently of myself kicking ass and chewing bubble gum - unless I run out of bubble gum. Plan B is to kick ass and take names.

Rainbow Six: Vegas

...is still creepy.

Full Time Job; Full Time Shoes

Photoshop Space

(Tom Goes to the Mayor)

Electric Flowers

I just finished this electronic album I've been working on for the last couple months. If you like video game music you are sure to enjoy some of the tracks on Electric Flowers. Check it out, if only because it's FREE.

Electric Flowers.zip 131MB (MegaUpload)

And here's a review of the album written by some weirdo:

The third effort from musician amateur Andy Lamont, Electric Flowers begs to be heard through headphones at full volume. Heavy on bass and light on apologies, the listener is instantly transported to another state of existence…not another state of mind, but another state of is. Who am I? Who are you? What is this thing on my leg? Is it edible? You will be asking yourself these questions and more, lest you face a total cranial meltdown.

“Although there is an inherent danger of your brain disintegrating, I think listening to my music can really change the way you live your life,” ponders Lamont. “On one hand you have these blocks that fit together, kind of like LEGOs, and in the other hand you have freedom.”

An ambitious project from the beginning, Electric Flowers has a serious mission. "I just hope this album can finally end world hunger," says Lamont.

And if this reviewer has anything to say about it - I am full as hell. Mission accomplished, Andy Lamont. Mission accomplished.

Halo 3 Beta

Halo 3. Multiplayer. Beta. Everything is better, only one thing is worse.

Anything can change from now until September 25 - the day I will be taking off work for a few days (assuming I'll have a job by then), but here's hoping Bungie only tweaks vehicle splattering. It's way too hard in Halo 3. Why even get in a ghost?

Other than that, it's all fun as hell. Halo 3 is exactly where it should be, and it goes without saying (or typing) that this game will be a real killer by the time it is released.

EDIT:

May 30

Now that I've been playing the beta for a good while now, I'm really starting to see the subtle upgrades from Halo 2. It reminds me of this quote from bungie.net's history of bungie:

"The way the press reported on the game was hypnotic. At first they were taken by the graphics. Halo looked amazing. Later articles shifted towards the gameplay – it was the first time since GoldenEye that a first-person shooter had really worked on a console ... And then people really discovered the multiplayer game – and made console LAN parties a real phenomenon."

I'm starting to notice these small details about Halo 3's gameplay that are totally sweet. Just little things, like how perfectly balanced the weapons are (compared to H1 and H2), or the death animations/physics, sound effects, the manually controlled 'death camera,' or the multiple uses of each equipment, or how when you die the camera focuses on your killer and follows them until you manually change the camera. So when you get sniped, the camera spins around so you can see your killer standing there reloading his rifle. Bad. Ass.

Oh and the splattering isn't messed up. It just takes skill now.

Awake From My Coma

Well, looks like it's been over a month without any of my overly-excited hyping of upcoming games. You have also missed out of my super expertly-worded game reviews. To be honest, there isn't much I had to say in April. It was kind of a slow month in the world of video games, and I spent most of my gaming time playing some beloved Halo 2 matchmaking. I'll sum up my most recent thoughts into easily-digestible bullet points:

• Virtua Tennis 3 is fun, but it doesn't explain in enough detail what you need to do in those damn Academy training missions. The AI is pretty relentless, and I got my ass handed to me every time I played online.
• Armored Core 4 is bad. I thought it would be good.
• ZOMG'RZ I loved Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. I totally appreciate Dawn of Sorrow and Portrait of Ruin a hell of a lot more now.
  
• I still haven't bought Earth Defense Force 2017. No real reason why. I know it's shallow, yet fun. And when I get it, I'll let you know just how wrong (or right) I was.
• I also haven't checked out the Shivering Isles. I admit it - I'm afraid to get back into Oblivion. One of these days...when I'm feeling lonely, I'll jump back in.
• I did, however, download the Rainbow Six: Vegas expansion- the Red Pack or whatever it's called. I like the new maps. I like the new modes. But this was to be expected, so not much news on the R6 front.
• I still haven't beaten Call of Duty 3. It's good, but I'm just not ready yet. In fact, this is the first time I've mentioned Call of Duty on this blog. Hopefully in 4 we can pop some caps into insurgent asses.
• I finally started playing Fight Night: Round 3. Excellent face and stomach-mashing fun.
• When the Halo 3 beta rolls in, I will be there to greet it with open arms. And I will miss a lot of sleep. I love you.
  

What Music They Make!

I love to play video games - but that's only part of the reason I love video games. While it's great to appreciate the visual art in games, I'm a sucker for the music. Sometimes I will enjoy playing a crappy game solely because of its excellent music (Yoshi's Story!). However, most of the time it seems like a quality soundtrack dictates a quality game (example: Sonic's downfall starting with Sonic Adventure and its disgusting music).

I have over eighty video game soundtracks in my growing collection, and I couldn't even begin to narrow that down to a few favorites (which was the original intention for this story). So let me end this short piece by reminding you to turn up the volume while you rescue that princess, and pay respect where it's due.

If you are looking to download video game music, a great place to start is Galbadia Hotel.

Jack Thompson: Way Past Crazy

Good thing I haven't achieved my goal of writing for a top game news website yet. Nobody wants to get sued by Jack Thompson!

My Xbox 360 Is Dead

Just days after giving it the award for winning this generation, my Xbox 360 died. I knew it was coming, we have all read the horror stories, but it is still surprising and extremely aggravating. Time to finally check out Okami...


UPDATE: 3-25-07: Called 1-800-4MY-XBOX, I am to mail the console to them (sans hard drive) and I should expect a repaired or brand new 360 in about three weeks...

UPDATE: 3-27-07: Shipping cost $11.66. Oh and Okami is awesome.

UPDATE: 4-2-07: My 360 arrived this morning in Texas. The two to three week waiting period begins today. I hope they find it is unrepairable so I can get a brand new 360 that hasn't been tinkered with...

UPDATE: 4-3-07: Major Nelson just brought this to my attention:

Free Shipping:
In the event your console needs to be returned to us for repair your shipping costs are free. We will immediately send you a postage paid container in which to send us your console, and we will pay for shipping charges to return your console to you.

I will call customer service tomorrow in hopes of getting my $12 refunded...

UPDATE: 4-9-07: Never called customer service. I'm not the bitching type, and I probably wouldn't have gotten the $12 refunded anyway. However, I did receive a brand new Xbox 360 in the mail today - complete with bonus (regular white) faceplate! You see, I shipped the original without a faceplate (as instructed), and now I have 2 default 360 faceplates!!! I kid, but I am very relived to promptly receive a brand new box. Hopefully this won't happen again.

NiGHTS Sequel on Wii

Finally, one of my Dream Sequels has come true. SPOnG is reporting that the long-rumored sequel has been confirmed, only days after the Official Nintendo Magazine hint was dropped. Best of all, original creator Yuji Naka is said to lead development! The only thing left to speculate on is the control style. I'd like to see something off-rails that controls like the mysterious Wii Airplane E3 '06 demo, where you hold the Wiimote like a paper airplane.

UPDATE: Looks like Yuji Naka will not be involved. I'm thinking I'll stop reporting rumors from here on out. Although this news itself might be a rumor. You see the vicious cycle I have gotten myself stuck in?

My New Hero

Thanks to last month's EGM, I learned about Wall Guy - the oddly disproportionate dude from one of the first screenshots of Perfect Dark Zero. To me, Wall Guy not only embodies the suckage of PDZ, but he is an icon for poor games in general. He is like the Mona Lisa: the longer you stare at him, the more interesting he becomes. Notice the larger-than-right left leg, the crotch's lackage of package, the chin/shoulder melt, and the bike helmet; and you start to realize the importance of quality character design.

And The Winner Is....Xbox 360

Some would say this announcement is a little premature. Some would say it has been known for months. With the recent news of Devil May Cry 4 coming to 360 alongside the already announced PS3 version, I finally feel comfortable enough to put my thumbs on the chopping block and confidently predict this generation's big winner. Next up to rise to the occasion: MGS4 and FFXIII...?

Hey, don't blame me for being an Xbox fanboy. Blame me for being an America fanboy.

Rogue Squadron, This is Red Five - I'm Goin' In

I like science fiction. I like shooting things. I like flight combat games. I like Bosconian. But I f'ing LOVE Star Wars. And I have really been missing some good ol' space shooters. In response to Destructoid's wonderful editorial about the lack there of, I want to add my two cents on the issue.

Factor 5 developed the Rogue Squadron series and has since departed from Nintendo and the Star Wars franchise to develop a game called Lair for the PS3 - which I will never play, unless somebody wants to buy me a PS3. This is a bummer because I can't see any other developer handling a Star Wars space shooter as well as these guys did.

Star Wars aside, there aren't any space shooters in the mix of upcoming games. There aren't any Panzer Dragoon games coming any time soon, either. As much as I love returning to these games, I must admit I have been spoiled by the glitter of "next-gen." Developers, please, recognize this genre and make some damn games.

Indeed, it is a grim time for fans of (non-WWII) flight shooters...

Worms XBLA Review

This is a difficult game to review. The Xbox Live Arcade version of Worms is like a funny, intelligent, beautiful woman - that has no arms. You see, everything that is included in Worms is great, but not everything was included. This version of Worms is what I call Couch Worms. It's simple, casual, and just not as fun as the PC Worms games - but it is still better than most of the other crap on Xbox Live Arcade. It's still good ol' Worms, just a little sicklier that we're used to.

It's great to see the updated graphics - the game has never looked better, and the controls are as perfect as they could be on the Xbox 360 controller. For the most part, the weapons perform as they always have, and they sound like they're supposed to sound. So the fact that this game is only about 60% complete is more of a tease than a fat pile of doo. The fact that Microsoft (used to) limit their Arcade games to 50 MB was Worms' death sentence. What follows is a list of things that are sadly missed in this latest version of our beloved 2-D turn-based strategy game:

• Speech banks - there are about 5 speech banks, and only one of them is in English
• Levels - there are three (3) maps
• Teams have a maximum number of four (4) worms
• Weapons - this one's the kicker. We're missing the Holy Hand Grenade, Super Sheep, Bungee Cord, Parachute, Concrete Donkey, Old Woman, and many others
• No switching between worms before a turn (which completely changes the gameplay)
• There is only one song, which you will want to turn off after about 30 minutes
• The achievements are crap. They don't give you incentive to play online, and they are way too easy to achieve

However...
Did I mention the graphics are beautiful and it is still soooo worth the ten bucks?

Crackdowns and Ups

I started playing Crackdown as a measly rookie cop. I avoided the crime and tried to stay high to innocently collect every agility orb I saw. After I mastered agility, I decided to try my hand at upholding the law. I slowly became the best shooter in the Agency.

And then I found the rocket launcher. And the cluster grenades. And soon after, nearly every gang leader in Pacific City was dead. Once most of the rampant violence had been relieved, I jumped in the Agency Supercar and spent some time beefing up my driving skills.

And I found my true calling.

I was meant to be a Super Trooper. A highway patrolman. Now I spend my days cruising the highways of the city at 225 miles an hour, crashing and shooting through all gang activity I come across. Rooftop jumping is for the rookies. I keep the roads safe.

Half Life 2: Orange

The cover should have looked like this (but it doesn't because I designed this):

STOP EVERYTHING! There's a bomb on my blog!

BEST GAME OF ALL TIME: Single-Player

I know it doesn't seem like a good time to crown the best game of all time, as a more appropriate choice could have been "best game of 2006" or "best next-gen game so far." Go to other game websites for that malarky. I want to talk about the best of the best! There are two categories in video gaming: single-player and multiplayer...and the goals achieved in each category have grown to be very different. A great multiplayer game must be balanced, have a lot of variety in available play choices, and it must be online. A great single-player game must be long, at least somewhat emotionally resonant, and epic as hell.
Although my choices are rather recent games, they are the cream of the crop. What is the best single-player game of all time?

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess


I can't stop talking about this game. I can't stop listening to the soundtrack. I can't stop creating Zelda-related posts. And even though I beat the game a long time ago, I still can't stop aimlessly wandering around the ins and outs of Hyrule, slicing and dicing through every bad guy that gets in my way. Everyone respects me. No one can defeat me. I am the ultimate badass of Hyrule. If you haven't played this game, you don't know that:

• Link has two, possibly three girlfriends in the game (and he flirts with even more ladies)
  
• There is a surprising twist at the end of the game that solidifies this Zelda title as having the most interesting characters with the coolest story arcs
• There are some very non-Zelda like weapons Link gets his hands on
• Wolf-Link can talk to every animal in Hyrule (including Epona)
• Tingle is unfortunately not in the game
• A hundred other weirdos are in the game
  
• Each dungeon has more creativity and artistic style than most whole games, with just the right amount of challenge to never become frustrating
• It is the longest Zelda game (I beat it in 45 hours, but I will never be completely finished with the save file)
• It is the best Zelda ever, and also the best game ever.

BEST GAME OF ALL TIME: Multiplayer

I know it doesn't seem like a good time to crown the best game of all time, as a more appropriate choice could have been "best game of 2006" or "best next-gen game so far." Go to other game websites for that malarky. I want to talk about the best of the best! There are two categories in video gaming: single-player and multiplayer...and the goals achieved in each category have grown to be very different. A great multiplayer game must be balanced, have a lot of variety in available play choices, and it must be online. A great single-player game must be long, at least somewhat emotionally resonant, and epic as hell.

Although my choices are rather recent games, they are the cream of the crop. What is the best multiplayer game of all time? The soon-to-be-dethroned (by its sequel):

Halo 2


Halo 2 is the absolute best first person shooter you can play on a console. From the controls to the graphics, to the sound, to the user-friendly interface, to the variety - this game has everything. It is also the most complete online experience you can play on a console. These two important elements combine in what could have already been an awesome offline single-player PC game to create the ultimate play-all-night-until-your-eyes-dry-out multiplayer experience. I predict that the only game to top Halo 2 for best multiplayer game this decade will be Halo 3.

Jack Bawler

24 is such a soap opera.

The Next Rainbow Six

I never got into an R6 game until Vegas, which I can't seem to put down. In the midst of all my excitement, I once said this game has little to no room for improvement - it's perfect! I must have been too preoccupied with the tear gas that was burning my eyes, nose and throat to find any faults with the game. I have come up with some ideas for the next Rainbow game that are sure to make it an absolutely perfect experience.

• This game needs some unlockable humor. Add an optional paintball mode à la Goldeneye. Add some interesting, but not ridiculous outfit options like a tuxedo.
• Add the ability to shoot out lights. I don't care how Splinter Cell that sounds, because anything that adds more tactical depth will make it more realistic.
• Ability to have more than one custom face per gamertag, and more character customization options in general.
• While observing in multiplayer, add the option for the right and left bumpers to change view: third person (default), first person, and free camera.
• Add a Melee knife for stealthy silent kills. What kind of knife you ask? It would have to be the Microtech Halo III knife, of course.
• More guns, better balancing.
• Only allow the host to kick players while in the lobby - it really sucks when a pissed off host kicks the players of the winning team seconds before a 20 minute match ends.
  
• There should be no loading after changing gametypes on the same map.
  
• I want the bathrooms to actually have mirrors in them (Prey had mirrors, mind you).
  
• In the story campaign, there should be a level where the main character is somehow poisoned, and movement and vision are psychedelically askew (à la Yoshi's Island: "Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy").
• Have at least some of the game take place in New York City...what if the game took place right after the events of September 11, 2001?
  

The Lost Planet Review

A few months ago, I had a sad feeling in my heart that Lost Planet wouldn't be nearly as good as Gears of War or Rainbow Six: Vegas. I was correct.

Graphically, Lost Planet almost equals Gears. It's a beautiful (looking) game, but the multiplayer just sucks. The single player is pretty good fun, but it's extremely frustrating and there's no co-op. I'm lazy, so enough with the fluff.

• The worm boss is cool
• The graphics are purdy
• The cutscenes are nauseating
  
• No splitscreen multiplayer
• Multiplayer sucks anyway though
• There is still hope for (another) patch
• Gears is better
• Rainbow Six: Vegas is way better than both Gears and Lost Planet

Photospace!

I couldn't resist posting this little video from New Years.